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As Microsoft and Yahoo! look to merge, this is turning in to a real soap opera…

Microsoft & Google actually fancy each other; Microsoft loves Googles youthful energy and dynamic rise to wealth and Google loves the established, ‘old school’ power of Microsoft… but it’s a forbidden love. They can never be together, which drives them crazy and makes them want to constantly hurt and out do each other.

In the latest ’series’ of their forbidden love, they pull Yahoo! in to their destructive love-hate relationship…

Microsoft has a one night stand with Yahoo! and then proposes, though not because Microsoft actually fancies Yahoo! - it’s more to get Google’s attention! Something about hurting the ones you love.

Ironically, Yahoo! doesn’t want to marry Microsoft either, but she realises that she’s at a stage in her life where her looks have long faded and her living expenses are a bit higher than her income. Whilst popular, she may not get the chance to bag another rich suitor like Microsoft… but she could hold out to find someone who loves her for who she is. Dilemma.

Yahoo! is unsure about Microsoft’s proposal and decides to think about it, but Microsoft is used to getting any girl he wants and this ‘playing hard to get act’ is something he’s seen many times before. Normally Microsoft would just flash some more bling and the girl would get in the car, but this time, Microsoft feels he’s already flashed enough to Yahoo! so he just goes for the affirmative act of ordering Yahoo! to get in the car. Yahoo! runs crying in to the night…

Confused and upset, Yahoo! seeks solace in the arms of other men. The first to hear about her vulnerability is MySpace who decides to take the opportunity to have a quickie with her (because he’s that kind of guy), but in the morning Yahoo! is back out in the cold. Now she’s feeling really dirty, who should come along but Google. Google knows the situation and wants to get back at Microsoft for hurting him with the initial Yahoo! proposal. Google tells Yahoo! what she wants to hear. Google will love her for who she is and promises to share everything with her - unlike Microsoft. But Google wants to take things slowly, one step at a time. This way Google can really get back at Microsoft without never really needing to commit to Yahoo! (as soon as Microsoft has had enough and the proposal is withdrawn, Google will drop Yahoo! like a sack of potatoes).

Poor Yahoo!. She may be desperate but she’s not stupid. She knows she can’t marry Microsoft or Google as her parents would never approve. So Yahoo! agrees to Google’s ’slowly, slowly’ relationship as rumours surface of stolen kisses with other lovers, notably AOL…

Will Yahoo! actually marry anyone?
Will Yahoo! come home from work early to find Microsoft and Google in bed together?
Does anyone still care who AOL sleeps with?
Will MySpace ever clean up it’s act?

Tune in next week (at this rate) for the next thrilling installment of the MicroHoo! soap opera.

Huzzah! Its that time of year again (y’know, that narrow margin between January and November) when the all that familiar chocolate covered loveliness hits your local news stand. Yep, its creme egg season once again. And if, like the rest of us at the office, you need your daily fix of the aforementioned-tooth-melting-goodness, what better site to check out than cremeegg.co.uk

This somewhat bizarre site investigates the psychology of the humble creme egg, helping them to embrace their mortality and release their inner goo. There’s a lot to explore here, and if you’re anything like me the frustratingly ambiguous navigation will leave you clicking around for a while before you find the ‘free chocolate section’ (having done the hard work, I can report that is under ‘competitiveness’). However, I love the thought that’s gone into designing each section in a different part of the lab, and the cleanness of the page is refreshing, since all the navigation works from a pull down map. There’s also a lot to catch your attention in each area, with as much detail going into background shenanigans as the foreground elements.

Having said this, I can’t help but feel Cadburys have missed a trick by not enabling any real user involvement or content. The best part of the site by far are the stop-frame animated creme egg ‘deaths,’ which, despite not being particularly original (I refer of course to similar bunny related escapades) nonetheless warrant a good laugh and would have been a great gateway for user content. Suicide jokes…always funny. If you’ve missed them on TV up until now, it’s well worth a look.

This is Webster. He’s a duck. Actually he’s a lovely big plastic duck for über cool fashion brand Duck and Cover. Why is webster at Neoco… all will be revealed. In fact, if you can email in some funny ideas as to why we would have a large plastic duck in our office you can win a Duck and Cover canvas satchel.